Why Costa Rican Isn't For Everyone, And Why It Probably Isn't For You

The pace of life feels sluggish from the heat and humidity, the days feel slow (and so does the service) forcing you too to slow down, relax, get into the Pura Vida vibe. And at first it is so seductive.

 

You feel changed and liberated. Life feels more raw here, there is nature everywhere and all of the Costa Ricans you interact with on your two week vacation are just so happy and friendly. Did you know that Costa Rica made the list of the ten happiest countries again this year? You tell all of your friends when you get home, tan, sunkissed, and transformed by the tropical heat, the life pumping through you from the unfiltered beauty of the land.

 

And so you think you will move there, live that way always, really immerse yourself in the laid back, easy going lifestyle of Pura Vida.

 

Over the past twelve years I’ve watched person after person, seeker after seeker come to Costa Rica thinking that this place will change them, fix them, rescue them, save them and time and time again, they leave just as they came. Having rental apartments for the past six years has been the most fascinating anthropological study into this phenomenon of the immigrant to Costa Rica, the one who thinks that this place will be the magical solution to the problem that they need solved. And I have some notes after these years of study and observation that I thought I would share. These observations are based on my own experience of living here for more than a decade as well as observing and interacting with those who come to find their personal holy grail or fountain of youth, depending. Because this place will not save you, if anything it will break you, test you, challenge you, and in some cases seriously fuck you up. And while there can be great transformation that comes from that process of total destruction, let me tell you, if you are not ready for it, you might as well stay home.

 

The same lessons that at first feel so liberating, so charming, so expansive, eventually turn into the stuff of nightmares. The power goes out for hours at a time. When you’re on vacation? Great! Who needs electricity, let’s go to the beach! When you live here? Watch how fast the complaints come flying in. But I need wifi, I have a Zoom meeting, how much longer will the power be out for? Dirt roads, long car trips to go short distances? Pura Vida! Life is a journey, enjoy the ride! But when you live here, what do you mean it takes 6 to 8 hours on a bus to go 140 miles? We really have to leave the night before our flight, even though our flight is at 1pm? The food might take a little while, as it’s made fresh and to order with love. No problem! We aren’t in a hurry, we’re on holiday! Let’s just have another rum drink out of a coconut! Which eventually turns into, why is this taking so damn long?

 

You see, this place is not the U.S., it’s not Canada, it’s not Europe (though I do have to say at least Spanish people understand slow life in my experience, thank you Spain). And all of the things that start out feeling so welcome and different from where you came from eventually start to bother most people, because most people don’t come here wanting to actually change themselves.

 

They think that they can change their location and somehow unlock the secret to happiness. But what real change are you looking for when you want to move here with all of your belongings from your past life, including your luxury vehicle? What change are you really looking for when you want to ship a shipping container down to have all of your same stuff? What change do you expect when you want to find a temperature controlled, modern house with AC, fast wifi, good security, and a pool, all for a price that you deem affordable? How much change are you expecting to find when you don’t speak the national language and can only communicate with other “expats”? (Do not get me started on that word.)

 

And I have to say, from the first time that I came to Costa Rica in 2002 to now where I sit today, at the end of a dusty, dirt road, in an off the beaten path location, in a typical Tico home, made of pre-fabricated concrete, the types of folks who are coming here now? Not the business.

 

Look, I don’t want to get into all of the politics of today, but for those who are looking to move to Costa Rica because they don’t like the politics of where they live now, let me ask you, who is the president of Costa Rica? Do you know the politics of this country? Do you know if abortion is legal here? Gay marriage? Adoption? Do you know the laws around medicinal marijuana? Do you know what it’s like for women in Costa Rica? Do you know how religious this place is or how Costa Ricans feel about more and more gringos coming and buying land and cutting down trees? Maybe, and it’s just a thought, maybe before you decide this is the place that is going to save you from yourself, you might want to do some actual research about what this place is, other than just sitting in a hot spring for a few nights before spotting a sloth on some beach somewhere.

 

And if you don’t see the full and utter irony and absurdity of the migration of wealthy immigrants moving south while at the same time the wave of less financially blessed people heading north get denied entry into those countries and sent to detention camps or prisons in countries they are not from, then I’m going to really, really, really need you to check your privilege and your politics.

 

Now I realize this might sound harsh, and maybe I’m crushing your dreams of a retirement that involves an endless supply of Imperial while you trade in your dress shoes for flip flops. But this is meant to be harsh, because while I am a gringa and someone who came here from elsewhere I cannot keep watching people flock to Costa Rica like is the locational equivalent to Ozempic.

 

Running away from your problems is not the same as solving them, and moving to the tropics is not a quick fix for your soul. If you really want to make some changes, why not start on them right now, from your current location, from your living room, from where you’re reading this? Don’t wait until you’ve reached “paradise” to be a better person, because the truth is, you won’t be better here. You will be the same person here as you were there, but you will be ten thousand times more uncomfortable, so you’ll probably be a bigger asshole here than you were there. Extreme heat for months on end and municipality supplied water being cut regularly will do that.

 

Not willing to share your home with a spider in California? Have a real problem with ants and bugs in your home in Texas? Can’t stand bats, scorpions, snakes? Guess what? They are all here, waiting to teach you some lessons, if you really want to learn. The amount of people who have rented and lived in my apartments—which are located in the center of town, not even in a wild, jungle setting, for Costa Rican standards—who then absolutely flip out over interacting with insects, is mind boggling. You might have read the fact that while Costa Rica is a tiny country, making up only .03% of the world’s land mass, it is home to 5% of the entire biodiversity found on this planet. And guess what, if you come here, you’re going to have many face-to-face encounters with that 5%, and it ain’t all butterflies, toucans, and monkeys. So the more people who come down here and feel the need to poison their entire garden and fumigate all around their house, so they don’t have to see bugs inside their villas, guess what? You are also killing the toads, frogs, lizards, crabs, spiders, scorpions and every other thing that make up this incredible ecosystem.

 

This place is magical, and it is beautiful, and it owes you nothing. This land does not care about you, you are not special here. You are no more important than the sloth in the tree, the iguana on the rock, the bird fishing in the river. The jungle has its own rhythm and way of life and if you can adapt yourself to fit into her way of being, then you might have a chance at making it here, and you might even be transformed and find your peace and happiness. But you will certainly fail if you think you can come here and bend this environment to fit your needs.

 

So, still think Costa Rica is for you?