Sumpin' Witty

I woke up on my 35th birthday to my 13-year-old dog having a seizure. Not a great way to start what could very well be the mid-point in my life (depending on how much Zumba I do), but one of those moments that reminds you that shit isn't always going to be like this. Everything changes, everything comes to end, and if we're lucky enough to still be breathing, we have a chance to start again. Call it a mid-life crisis (or if I'm lucky a third-life crisis). Call it my lastest fitness obsession since I seemed to have phased out my Salsa Fever that consumed the 34th year of my life. Call it what you want, but I decided to go to Zumba. Now, going to Zumba was something I never, ever in a million years would have thought I would have done. Aside from the fact that dancing in a group setting, with a bunch of overly peepy fitness freaks, would have made me run the other way just a couple of years ago, I had a personal vendetta against Zumba. You see, when my ex of 8 years...

It’s been a year since my heart broke. And it didn’t shatter all at once, like a wine glass crashing on a tile floor, the way I imagined it would.  It crumbled, slowly, over a few months, or maybe longer, it’s hard to tell. It started with a crack that crept its way across, as little bits began to fall away. And as the crack grew and splintered across my heart, the symptoms of a broken heart began to set in.  My insides turned to liquid. My intestines, large and small, my stomach, they just turned to liquid. I couldn’t eat, on account of my insides no longer existing in a solid form. I yo-yoed between thinking I was going to vomit up my digestive system or shit it out, at any moment.  Eating went out the window and so did sleep. Of course I’d be exhausted all day, from crying, from lack of nutrition, but then night would come, but never sleep. It was like I was possessed. The dark thoughts came with the darkness and that little voice inside your h...

Dear Alcohol, It's hard to find the right words to say to you. I'm not even sure where to begin. We've been together for so long now and we know each other so well, and that's what makes this so difficult. I know it sounds cliche' but I want you to know that this isn't about you, it's about me. I think you're great. I think you're amazing and believe me, I do love you. It's just right now, I feel like I need to take some time for myself and figure out what I really want and I can't seem to do that with you around. We've had so many great times together over the years. When I look back on all the memories we've made together, it makes me that much more upset to say goodbye, but I have to do it. You see, I find myself putting you first all the time, and neglecting myself in the end. Even when it comes to other relationships and friendships I always end up putting you ahead of everyone else and while I usually don't regret it, ...

In life, you will fail. More often than not, you will fail. I’m not being pessimistic or negative. I am telling you the truth. You know, that little thing that we try to forget, that little thing that we ignore when it doesn’t serve our purpose. In this life, you will fail more often than not. You will try a lot of things, and you will try hard, you will give it your all, and you will fail. And in the failing, you will learn, you will grow, you will struggle, cry, hurt, and fall apart, but you will become. It is through our failings that we learn the absolute beauty of success, that we see what a rare, unique thing it is to get something right.  Our hearts will break a dozen or a hundred times before we find a partner that we can count on, connect with.  We will work jobs upon jobs that we will quit or be fired from before we find a place where we want to stay, work at something we love.  We will live in apartments, houses, condos, countless places af...