Sunday, November 25, 2012

Home Sweet Homeless?

I just returned from Southern California, where I stayed with my sister, who lives in Irvine, so that I could participate in the family celebration of Thanksgiving. The majority of my Dad's family lives in Southern California, from Fullerton to Duarte, Irvine to San Gabriel, the whole lot is there, pretty much. As a child, I spent a few weeks every summer in Fullerton, staying at my Grandma and Grandpa's house. I loved those trips down there. What kid wouldn't? They owned their own theater company, The Fullerton Civic Light Opera, so the trip was always filled with musicals and shows. Being so close to Disneyland, Magic Mountain, Universal Studios, and Knott's Berry Farm, and having connections to people who worked at all the parks, we always got to hit up at least one theme park per trip. Then, there are the aunts and uncles who would spoil us with the Orange Country Fair, movies, eating out, can you think of a better vacation?!

So, it's no surprise that when I do visit the Fullerton crew (even though they don't all live in Fullerton, that was the place where my sister and I spent the most time, hence everyone getting lumped together) I get a little nostalgic and I start to feel like I should be living down there. Now, I've been in the Oakland/Berkeley area for the past 6 years, and until recently I loved it here. But a strange thing happened when I returned "home" the other day. I was not excited to be back. In fact, I was so ready to be anywhere but here, it's been hard to stay in a positive mode. There are several factors that I attribute to this little funk that I'm in.

First off, like I said, whenever I visit Fullerton, I get sad that I don't live there. I'm not really sure that I want to live in Southern California. In fact, I don't think I do. The amount of time spent driving on freeways from place to place is exhausting for me, the prevalence of chain businesses and sprawl of strip malls and uniformed houses and apartments is just not my style. That being said, I do love to visit, but because of my family. That's what it is about that place, it's not the place, it's the people. But, I still have a desire to live in a place that has more trees than people, so Southern California is not for me, at least not right now.

The second reason that I am little out of sorts being back in Oakland is that I live in West Oakland, known by some, as the ghetto. Rent is cheap, there are some really great things happening here, like the Peralta Junction, City Slickers, and I'm close to downtown Oakland for awesome events like Art Murmur. But the ghetto is the ghetto and really, I'm over a lot of the characters that I do meet when I'm trying to do something as simple as go to the grocery store, or get gas. No, I don't have any money for you, I'm not even working right now. No, I don't want to buy your CD or see the scars from where you got shot. And no, I don't have a cigarette, a lighter, or matches for you. Clearly, I have run my course with Oakland.

But the real thing that is happening is that I'm in a transition already. Getting ready to drive to Costa Rica, I have started to check out of this existence. All of the things that grounded me to this life, the jobs I've had, the routines I have formed, they are starting to erode away as I move towards the next phase of my life. And for me, it's hard to stay present and feel connected to this space and time, when my mind is so occupied with all of things the future holds. I don't feel like this place is my home anymore, and I don't know where my next home lies, so in a sense I'm already homeless, if not physically, mentally at least.

I don't mean to sound so negative though. It's not like I hate this place, West Oakland, that I have called home for the past three years. I have loved my time here. It's just time for something else now. I took a few yoga classes at the studio where my sister teaches in Irvine. In one of the classes the teachers said something that was true for yoga, obviously, but very true for my life as well. She was explaining that stillness and motion were equally important in your practice. Now, she was referring to our downward dogs and our sun salutations. How finding the comfortable place before holding it in stillness was necessary. And how if you needed to take a child's pose and simply lay still at anytime, that was just as valuable as flowing through with the rest of the class. So I realized, I've been practicing stillness for three years. I made all the necessary adjustments, got in tune with my body, found just the right way to be, and I stayed still, in that pose, for three years. And it was important. Just as important now, is the need to move, to pedal my feet, bend my knees, move my hips, wiggle my writs and fingers, shrug my shoulders, and find that next posture, that I'm sure I'll end up holding again for some time. Because let's face it, you can't just stay in downward dog forever, at some point you have to flow, you have to move, you have to explore your body, your mind, and the world.

Here's to motion and stillness, and to figuring out which one is more helpful to you right now. And whichever it is, just remember to breath.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Planes, Trains, and Automobile, No Train, Sub Boat

For the past few years, I have reasoned that my desire, my passion for travel, was born out of my trip to Japan that I took with my friend Sandra and her family, and then my trip to South Africa, that I took with my Grandma Kennedy. It has recently dawned on me, that this seed for adventure was planted much earlier and that it's not just I who suffers from travelitis, but my whole family.

At present, my Dad and his good friend Terry are living on a sail boat, meandering down the Pacific Coast. They are still in U.S. waters, for now. Soon they will sail south of the border and down to Zihuatanejo, Mexico. Their goal is to arrive in a timely fashion, so as to meet up with my Mom, my sister Alison, who will be celebrating her 30th birthday there, Seth, my bother-in-law, and a handful our of awesome friends. While Alison and crew board planes from various states, Jahsiah, Timmy, and I will be driving south, with a stop-off at the Grand Canyon, we will be working our way down to Zihua, also with the goal of arriving for the one week where the Moore clan, in all it's craziness, can meet up and spend some time in the same city where we spent Christmas last year.

My family, my immediate family, has done a lot of traveling. My sister and I both got started early in the international travel, thanks to Grandma Kennedy, and once my parents retired, they caught up really quickly. We have Central and South America, Asia, Africa, and Europe under our belts, combined we have been to all continents, save Australia (Christmas 2013 anyone?). But the truth is, we were traveling long before our international debuts. With family drives to Montana to visit the Cutbank folks, stopping along the way to see the Salt Flats of Utah, minor league baseball, Yellowstone, and other roadside attractions, a road-trip is no stranger to the Moores. Then there were the family vacations to Hawa'ii, thank you Mom and Aunt Lynn for making these magical moments occur. What better way to spend time as a kid than playing in the waves on Maui? No wonder I'm obsessed with living by the beach.

But it's not just my immediate family. The whole lot of us seem to be crazy! My cousin Vicky spent time in Belize, went to school in the UK and now lives in Scotland. Grandma Kennedy has been to over 80 countries (at least that's what I remember the count being), Grandma and Grandpa Duncan sent me jade jewelry from there voyage to New Zealand, Uncle Brett was all but famous in Mykonos, Greece, we have China under our belts, more Europe, the list goes on and on! This is a rather worldly family, on all sides!

And I think back to when Alison and I would fly to Fullerton for the summer. Now, that might not sound like the most exciting thing ever to you, but to me, it was awe inspiring. Just me and my sister, young, getting sent on a plane, alone, knowing that Grandpa would be waiting to pick us up from the airport. We would get seated first, as children flying without parents. We usually got little pins of wings to wear and playing cards. I remember exiting the plane, one of those open air airports, and it was always sticky in Fullerton in the summer (wonder why I like humidity), so the warm air would smack you in the face as you left the air-conditioned cabin. I believe that these trips are the reason I tend to be so fearless when traveling. I'll go anywhere, even if others say it is unsafe, because as scary as the voyage into the unknown might be, a friendly face is always awaiting you at your destination.

So when people look at me like I'm crazy for wanting to drive to Costa Rica, I just want to tell them, you should meet my family, they make me look normal, if not at times, boring.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

The Show Must Go On!


My head is swimming now. It  is with many, mixed emotions that I write this. Today is November 1st, which to me signifies a few things. Fall is in full effect, Halloween, probably my favorite holiday is now 364 days away, and tomorrow, I turn another year older. These facts are true every November 1st. But this year, November 1st holds more significance. It's our Thursday night show of The Fantastiks, as we always have a Thursday night show during closing weekend, but I am not working. Elaine, the new Box Office Manager of The Altarena Playhouse is working her first solo shift to see if I have trained her well. See, she will be taking over my job, now that I am leaving for Costa Rica. So, in a way, tonight marks the end of an era for me. Even though I will work the rest of the weekend and close the show on November 4th with my Altarena family, tonight I feel the reality of this chapter ending, and a new one beginning.


Another significant thing about today being November 1st is that we launched our Kickstarter Project today. It took a little more than a month to put the whole thing together when you factor in writing the short script for the movie, story-boarding the scenes, finding out where we were going to shot, lining up everyone's schedules, writing the whole profile and written portion of the project. We put a lot of work into it and I am proud of what we have created. I am also confident that we will reach our goal of $5,000, thanks to the amazing network of people we are surrounded by.

In the past three years I have gained so much inspiration working at the theater and being around such artistic, passionate, talented people. Not just the actors, but everyone who works crew, our stage managers, our costumer designers, our Board Members. I have been so lucky to be influenced by so many creative minds and I really feel as though this project, this Kickstarter, this motivation to follow this dream and go for it, ties into my experiences at The Altarena.

ManOfLaManchaThe first full show I worked was Man of La Mancha. I had never seen the show, which was odd considering my background in musical theater through my family in Fullerton and the fact that my Grandma has played the role of Dulcinea. I was not in the most mentally stable place at that time, February of 2010, as I was still quite shaken at our financial situation and our daunting task of starting over. I don't know if you know the story of Man of La Mancha, but I think it was pretty fitting for me to start working at the theater during the production. The story of this man, Don Quixote, who struggles to fight the good fight, against all odds, "To dream the impossible dream,... To run where the brave do not go,....This is my quest, To follow that star, No matter how hopeless, No matter how far." These lyrics spoke to me and reassured me that I would reach my goal, one day. And that was the hope that I needed. Little did I know, that the people involved in that production, would play such large roles in my life afterwards as well. LaMont Ridgell, who played Don Quixote, moved me to tears night after night with his beautiful voice and portrayal of that character. Donna Turner was a wonderful Dulcinea and she and her husband Stewart have continued to inspire me through their work at the theater. Chris Ciabattoni and Sydney Michaels first entered my life during that run as well. Fiona McIntosh was involved. Ryan Lee Short and Laura Domingo, who got together during that run and are together still! Perry Aliado, John Hale, the list goes on and on! I know I'm leaving people out, because there is no way to include everyone who made the production special. Then, there's the fact that so many of these folks have been repeat participants in other productions at Altarena!




So, this beautiful little family was born and has evolved since then, with the latest incarnation of wonder, The Fantastiks. How fitting that for my last show with Altarena, LaMont is back along with Chris, both as leads, Fiona is working crew, Sydney is on costumes. I couldn't think of a better way to end my time here. Although, I don't want to say end my time, because while I am going off to try something new, and have an adventure, my connection to the theater runs deep and this will always be My Little Theater, along with it being Alameda's Little Theater. Oh, it's all too much! I'm going to get all weepy. Basically, I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been involved with Altarena. The love that I have watched people pour into their roles there, their jobs, and all for the love of art, all so that we can have something beautiful to enjoy, it has given me such strength to strive for beauty, to reach that unreachable star. I feel so blessed to have had this job, to have met these people, and to set out on my quest with such an amazing group of friends supporting me. Thank you all!


(Please note, this is not LaMont signing, although I would love to have that version if anyone has it!)