Monday, October 22, 2012

Holy Cow! 7 Weeks?!?

Last night, Jahsiah and I watched an Australian movie entitled, Wish You Were Here. It told the story of two sisters who travel to Cambodia with their husband and new boyfriend, respectively. After a night of doing drugs and partying too hard, the boyfriend goes missing. I won't spoil the movie for anyone, as it was good and worth watching. For Jahsiah and I though, the movie was perhaps not the best thing to have watched last night, as we both felt uneasy and nervous afterwards. As I brushed my teeth, getting ready for bed right after the movie ended, I realized that we were leaving in approximatley 7 weeks. That's about 49 days (even though we don't have a set departure date). That's not very far away at all! And watching a movie about everything that can go wrong when traveling in a foreign, far-off land, well, that's a bad idea when you are about to do just that!

We laid in bed like little kids the night before a trip to Magic Mountain or Disneyland. We were giddy, hyper, so nervous I could hear our heartbeats. Realizations of what we are about to embark on started to become just that, real, as opposed to things way off in the distance that one day we would do. When we came back three years ago from our first attempt at driving through Central America, we said we do it again. But three years is a long time to say you will do something. And that's all it has been, just saying it. But now, we are at the point of really doing it. I will admit, I am nervous and a bit scared.

Saint Augustine of Hippo
When my heart starts beating fast, and my mind starts racing and I almost want to back out and just keep on living my simple, normal, mundane, expected life, I remind myself of two things. The first is a quote that I read for the first time in Costa Rica. It was painted on the wall of the last hostel in San Jose that Jahsiah, Timmy, and I stayed in during our 2009 trip. "The world is a book, those who don't travel, read only a page." Saint Augustine of Hippo,  the patron saint of brewers, printers, theologians, and the alleviation of sore eyes, is credited to have said this beautiful quote. He lived in modern day Algeria, when it was part of the Roman Empire. His birthday is November 13th, go figure, he's a Scorpio, too. I love this quote because for me, traveling is the only way to understand the world, and therefore, each other as humans. But it also touches on reading, which is something that I struggled with so much as a child and young adult. Now I love to read and when I have the time, I enjoy it. But this was not always the case. I am dyslexic so reading can be quite laborious for me at times, even still. This is where I see a parallel. Reading and traveling are not always the easiest things to do. They both require mental aptitude, more so than sitting on your couch, watching Netflix night after night. And when you read and travel, you gain so much. Quite often, the fruits of your labor are not seen from either experience until much further down the road. But if you put in that energy and effort to learn of new worlds, sometimes real, sometimes imaginary, far off places, different cultures, characters with their own stories to tell, you will become a better person, for your view will now encompass theirs' as well. And if you can see through the lens of someone else, you can better understand them. In a time where we are constantly being shown how different we are from the rest of the world, from different religions and cultures, I think it is incredibly important that we find our commonalities, and throw off the xenophobic view of the boob tube.

The other thing I remind myself of when I start to think I am making a crazy, and perhaps poor choice of my immediate future, is a poem by my favorite poet, Robert Frost.
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;        5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,        10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.        15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.        20
I didn't really get this poem the first time I heard it, and I'm not even sure when or where that was. But I knew I liked Robert Frost and I knew this poem was about traveling so it always stuck with me. More and more, I think of this poem when I make decisions and wonder whether or not they are the right decisions to make. Because life is just that, a series of decisions, that once made, cannot be unmade, and set us down paths we will not have time to back-track on. Once you start down a road, you must continue down that road, even if it wasn't the right road. Now there will be forks in the road, and you will have the chance to decide between left or right, but you will not be able to go back. "I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." This is the line that gets me. This is the line that I strive to personify. I want to always be on the road less traveled by. I want to pioneer into the unknown. I want to discover mysteries that modern science or television would have us believe do not exist. Like ancient maps that warned of dragons and sea serpents, I want to find mythical monsters and gentle beasts, the stuff of fairy tales. And you can't find that if you always stay on the paved road, with stop lights, safety cameras, and lots of traffic.

So even though I'm nervous, maybe even a little bit terrified, I have to keep reading this book that is the world. I have to find the dragons, the mermaids, the monsters that live somewhere down that road less traveled by. And I have to not watch movies that make traveling seem scary right before I venture into the unknown.  Now, I just need to pick out a good book for the trip.

Monday, October 15, 2012

The Hostess with The Mostest

I finally figured out what I'm good at. No, not just good at, great at. I'm a great host. Whether it's at work, where ever I'm working, or at my house, sometimes even other people's houses, I'm good at taking care of people and making them feel welcome. It's what I really like doing, and it turns out, I'm better at it than most people. So that's it, after 27 years on this planet, I've found my talent, hospitality.

What a relief. It's hard to not know what you're good at. Especially when you see other people excelling and succeeding in various other skill sets. One can become quite down on life. But to know, to really know you have found something that you can do well, it's a great feeling.

This recent discovery has come from my return to restaurant work. I've taken a part-time job as a hostess at a restaurant in North Oakland, a rather high-end, American Brasserie. I only have two or three shifts a week, which is perfect as I'm still the Box Office Manager at Altarena Playhouse, but only for three more weeks. And even though we are leaving for Costa Rica in mid-December, I needed something to supplement my income now, and something that could keep me making money through November, when the theater closes for the 2012 season. I was a little reluctant to start working in restaurants again after having felt very burnt out in my last server position. But that was almost three years ago, and my mental state was quite different. Now, I'm still not sure that I would enjoy serving again, but that's just it, I didn't say that I found my calling as a server. Sure, when I pick up checks off tables and see that servers are getting $30 tips on some tabs, and knowing that I'll only get tipped out $30 for the entire night, I get a little jealous. But it's not enough for me to want to go back to serving. No, I enjoy the other aspect of the job, making things run smoothly. Being the face of the customer's experience. Being the one that got them the table they needed, arranged their special cake be brought out at the right time. And knowing that when they call to make another reservation, I'll be the one to help them with their future celebrations.

Working at the theater for the past three years really brought me to this point, though. We have almost 900 season ticket holders and I know a lot of them by name, first and last. They know my voice, the know my face, we talk on the phone, we email, and when they come to the show, I'm the first person they see. I love making sure they feel welcome and letting them know if they have any questions, or concerns, that I can take care of them. When people leave, I want to know that they've had a good time, that's how I know they will be back. Part of it is how I view money, I guess. If I'm going to spend money on a night out, I want it to be worth it. The whole package should be good, I don't like things rough around the edges. That's where my talent comes in, I make things run, and I make them run smoothy. It's not just hosting, it's managing.

Our quest to find the perfect beans and rice
"In Search of the Perfect Gallo Pinto"Our quest to find the perfect beans and rice.

And now that I'm recognizing that this talent exists within me, I'm starting to notice it play out in other aspects of my life. We're just about to finish filming our Kickstarter Video, and then Jahsiah will move into the editing phase, while I finish the written portion of the project. Filming was a lot of fun and it took a lot of dedication, on everyone's part. In filming, I again felt somehow in tune with what I was doing, I felt very natural planning out the days, setting scenes, working with Jahsiah and Timmy to time things properly, and make things run efficiently. It was so much fun and went so well, I'm excited to keep filming things, new projects, especially on the road. One of the many ways in which we had envisioned framing our drive to Costa Rica was as a food-driven travel show, "In Search of the Perfect Gallo Pinto". After how well our Kickstarter went, I have a feeling you can expect to see that web series by February.

This new found confidence could not have come at a better time. In the past three years, I've worked on scaling back my dream of owning my own hostel. After the first attempt didn't work, I wanted to make sure I was being realistic about what it would mean to get down to Costa Rica, whether or not we would like living there, if I really did want to run a hostel, deal with tourists all day. I had to tell myself that maybe I would hate it, that way if it never happened, I wouldn't be so crushed. But now, I'm realizing, not only do I still want to own and run my own hostel, I will be so good at it. And that's how I know, that one of these days, it's going to happen. When it does, I'll look forward to welcoming you.

Friday, October 5, 2012

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you....

I think I have a problem. An addiction if you will, to working a lot, being too busy, stressing myself out. I can't seem to help it. I have so many jobs, gigs, plans, and the funny thing is, I'm sort of a flake. I always go to work, and make sure to walk my dogs, and I've recently realized I am an administrative genius. I can juggle a lot of work related things at once, often times at the expensive of any social life or sanity. But I don't mind it, really. I mean at times it's stressful to work seven days a week and stay on top of living a somewhat healthy life, but I am hell-bent on saving money, because let's face it, it's always better on holiday, and I believe that the harder I work now, the easier life will be later. This has yet to be verified.

So, I should start by saying that I will leaving in December, to drive to Costa Rica.There you have it, the official announcement. Obligatory in the age of Facebook, Twitter, and constant connection through social media. Now, some of you may remember that I attempted this adventure a few years ago, and it was not completed. We made it to Oaxaca, in southern Mexico, and ended up coming home from there, broke, tired, hungry, but not completely broken. Jahsiah and I have spent the past three years rebuilding from that chapter of our book and we are ready to give it another go. Two quotes come to mind given this situation. The first, a negative quote that I almost started to believe in the past few years:
  • "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."--Albert Einstein.  
This quote kept seeping into my mind when I would tell people, that yes, I was going to try again, to drive to Costa Rica. The shame of failure from last time was what fueled this thought process. You see, I'm not great at anything in particular, but I'm pretty good at most things I put my mind to. I usually succeed in doing what I set out to do. So when we didn't make it to Costa Rica three years ago, my pride and ego took a big hit. Humility was the silver lining, but it took a long time for that to show through the dark clouds of depression, frustration, and disappointment. Recently, a new quote has become the mantra in my mind surrounding our next expedition:
  • "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."--Source Unclear
Now this quote, I can get behind. It took a while for me to realize that failure is the beginning of success. You can't gauge the importance of one without the other. Therefore, I will not be ashamed that I failed, I will be motivated to succeed. This is not always easy to remember, but then again, what is?

So please, stay tuned, for in between working my last show at the theater, picking up some extra shifts at my new restaurant job, filming my Kickstarter (coming by the end of the month), and creating my other blog which will be a travelblog of our journey, I will try to keep you updated on the process of getting ready for a life changing event. And hopefully, it will encourage you to try, and try again, at whatever dream is lying dormant in your brain.